Jerry Crasnick: Moron, Jerk

[Alkie]

http://sports.espn.go.com...nick_jerry&id=5421648

Population:
Houston - 2,257,926
Philadelphia - 1,547,297

Metro Population:
Houston - 5,867,489
Philadelphia - 5,968,252

Skylines:
Houston - http://www.isa.org/isaexp...rfiles/HoustonSkyline.jpg
Philly - http://fishtown.us/files/...ages/Philly%20skyline.jpg

I sure hope Roy can reconcile in his tiny redneck brain the extra 101,000 people that live in the Philly metro area, because they must be the scariest 101,000 mofos in America.

Jerry Crasnick, it's called "research" and I know it's out of style these days in your business, but this took me less than 2 minutes to look up on a Blackberry.   Up yours.

[Arky Vaughan]

11-Year-Old Girls Purposely Barfed on at the Ballpark:
Houston - 0
Philadelphia - 1

[matadorph]

Great response, Arky, even though you deleted your post. Fantastic zinger.

[Arky Vaughan]

Sorry, needed to edit and deleted by mistake.

Dammit, Alkie, don't make me read ESPN this early in the morning.

Anyway, Crasnick responds in the comments,

It's not just a question of population in the two metro areas -- or city skylines. The Houston Astros have two traveling beat writers, while the Phillies are blanketed in media coverage every night. Does anyone think the fan and media scrutiny and expectations that Oswalt faced in Houston were equivalent to what he's going to encounter in Philadelphia? If so, they probably haven't listened to sports talk radio or been to a game in the two cities. I just think back to the ridicule that Charlie Manuel was subjected to before the Phillies started winning. The rewards in Philadelphia are great if you win. But it's a tough, demanding sports town.

To which I replied,

So the difference isn't really that Roy is coming from the countryside to the big city, since Houston and Philly are similar in size. The difference is that the Philly fanbase and media are full of some of the biggest jerks in any American city. I'm sure it's true that Roy has never pitched for a home team with fans that vomit on purpose on 11-year-old girls or boo Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny or throw batteries at opposing players. That may take some getting used to. Talking about it in terms of pressure and competitiveness and being demanding is euphemistic. Why not write that, Jerry, instead of marginalizing the 5 million people in Houston as if they don't exist? For the World's Sports Leader based in the most populated region of the country, ESPN sure has a lot of writers with a provincial outlook.

What a douche bag.

[subnuclear]

Also, if you go 45 minutes west of Philadelphia, you enter an area every bit as rural and small-town-oriented as, say, Weir, Mississippi.  

[Arky Vaughan]

Also, if you go 45 minutes west of Philadelphia, you enter an area every bit as rural and small-town-oriented as, say, Weir, Mississippi.  

And if you go five minutes east of Philadelphia, you enter ... New Jersey.

[Arky Vaughan]

I've always thought Philly was nice to visit. The historical attractions are cool. As far as East Coast cities, though, I'll take New York, D.C. or Boston. I wish Roy well, but I wonder whether he and Lidge discussed what happens if Roy goes over a pitches a few Oswalt innings and gets the natives restless. Guys like Crasnick really need to get out of the Northeastern tenement-filled cities every once in awhile and see another part of the country besides South Florida or the West Coast.

[Alkie]

And if you go five minutes east of Philadelphia, you enter ... New Jersey.

Why would someone do that?

[Arky Vaughan]

Why would someone do that?

I did it once because I took a wrong turn driving in downtown Philly. Not only did it take 20 minutes before I could get over the bridge and find an exit in Camden to turn around, but it also cost me a few dollars in tolls.

If I did the same thing in downtown in Houston, I wouldn't be on a bridge or pay any tolls, and although I'd end up in an area that was a bit blighted, I would at least be surrounded by my choice of taco trucks serving mighty tasty vittles.

[Alkie]

Yeah, here's the thing.  I like Philly.  I really do.  It's a cool place.   It's not about Philly vs Houston.

It's about these "national" sportswriters who still think the journalism is about them and their feelings.   I get that it was more editorial/human interest than it was "news" but still.   Like you said in the comments, if the real issue is that he's never had to deal with a legion of sociopath baseball fans before, that's 100% true.   It has not one goddamn thing to do with Redneck Comes to Big City.   Redneck Has Been Living in Bigger City For 10 Years.

[Ron Brand]

It's not about Philly vs Houston.
It's about these "national" sportswriters who still think the journalism is about them and their feelings.   

Boy, that's true. These clowns have such a hardon for stardom and recognition that it clouds everything they do. The way print is dying, they're freaking out about whether they'll have a voice or not in the next five years and they scramble for position the New Media. It's about as hollow as a star on Hollywood Boulevard, and not even as meaningful.

[subnuclear]

Boy, that's true. These clowns have such a hardon for stardom and recognition that it clouds everything they do. The way print is dying, they're freaking out about whether they'll have a voice or not in the next five years and they scramble for position the New Media. It's about as hollow as a star on Hollywood Boulevard, and not even as meaningful.

Is the internet not considered "new media" anymore? 

[Alkie]

Is the internet not considered "new media" anymore? 

Sure, but if I said the shit Crasnick said on my own personal blog, even if it's well-read that's New Media.

If Crasnick is still writing for what is unfortunately a legitimate news source (even though it's possible to debate that at this point), it seems to me he should be famous for something before making the articles about his feelings.   Like Rick Reilly, who is famous for producing the first couple Beastie Boys records.

[Ron Brand]

Is the internet not considered "new media" anymore? 

The internet isn't media per se, it's the conduit. How it is used and what that "how" morphs into is the New Media.

[Ron Brand]

Sure, but if I said the shit Crasnick said on my own personal blog, even if it's well-read that's New Media.

If Crasnick is still writing for what is unfortunately a legitimate news source (even though it's possible to debate that at this point), it seems to me he should be famous for something before making the articles about his feelings.   Like Rick Reilly, who is famous for producing the first couple Beastie Boys records.

Or JdJO, who used to be Jesus.

[subnuclear]

The internet isn't media per se, it's the conduit. How it is used and what that "how" morphs into is the New Media.

Isn't all media a "conduit" by definition?   

I think the difference is not him, but that he has editors who tell him to go write up 800 words on the Oswalt trade whether he has valuable things to say or not. 

[kevwun]

Philly fans are great.  They once even cheered for a hated Cowboys player.  Of course Michael Irvin was laying on the turf of Veteran's Stadium motionless after suffering a neck injury.  Baby steps and what not.

[Ron Brand]

Isn't all media a "conduit" by definition?   

I think the difference is not him, but that he has editors who tell him to go write up 800 words on the Oswalt trade whether he has valuable things to say or not. 

Ah, yes, I've slipped away from the Medium is the Message thing. I'll go self-flagellate now.

[Ty in Tampa]

Columnism is really simple. You make preposterous statements. You get people mad. You get attention. It's like a 5-year-old.

[MusicMan]

Columnism is really simple. You make preposterous statements. You get people mad. You get attention. It's like a 5-year-old.

Indeed.  BP: Astros relegate themselves to oblivion

Dumb, ill-conceived plans litter history, not just the history of burgling or baseball, or baseball burgling. But surely the Astros' failure to launch an acquisition campaign with their most valuable asset should be held up as a cautionary tale of the risks that come when an owner decides to get some hands-on experience and make something happen. If Drayton McLane wanted to acquire top prospects or payroll relief, he (or whoever gets to be blamed in this situation) managed to swing a deal that achieved neither.

Certainly, you would expect that reducing Oswalt to this level of affordability for a trading partner should have engendered better offers. Both prospects going to the Astros in the deal are toolsy but distant, and swapping for Wallace doesn't really boost the team's near-term picture as much as provide it with a potentially adequate starter at Lance Berkman's position. That's important because the $11 million spent to make Oswalt a Phillie means the owner's only saved $12 million between now and the end of 2011 on that side of this proposition. Add the potential of slotting in Wallace for Berkman, and you save another $13 million while fielding a team that was already doomed to take a heavy hit in terms of ticket sales.

Put in those terms, with a 2011 Astros team that might only have achieved a $25 million deduction from its payroll and the fig leaf of plausible prospects acquired, if there's a message to take it's that the rumors about McLane's interest in selling have to be true. Reducing the club's payroll commitments this steeply and this long after the Astros had a realistic shot at contending might be a case of the piper at long last being paid for the mad dash of the 2008 kamikaze run. At that point, it was obvious to most of the aspirants to replace Tim Purpura in the GM's chair that the Astros were doomed to bottom out in the near future. Instead, Ed Wade made a sale on the chances of a successful final run with a team built around Oswalt, Berkman, and Carlos Lee, McLane bought it, and Wade's services to let the man make it so.

Now that those ambitions have been so decisively thwarted with little achieved beyond expense, it's apparently time to break this team down to parts decisively enough to create hope in Pittsburgh for easily achieved fifth-place finishes for the next few years. Next year's Astros team will be unwatchably bad, but this simply sets up the next owner or ownership group of the franchise for an automatic role as the white knight who might end the madness of one of the game's last "inspired" owner/operators.