He ain't even got a garage. You can call home and ask his wife.

I didn't have a garage before it was cool.

You realize, my good sir, that your presence automatically raises the hipster quotient?

/monocle pops out

- Heard Reserve 101 is good but haven't been

Reserve 101 is good.  Bartenders are real whiskey geeks.

And I'd second OKRA.  Great space, low hipster quotient, good array of drinks. 

It's just down the street from me, and just opened, but D&T's Drive In is looking pretty good.

Couldn't we realistically see DDJr in CF and Springer pushed to RF?  Or is the idea that DeShields will eventually usurp Altuve?

I don't know if we'll see Springer that soon.  I'd bet he'll be in OKC by then for sure, but nothing we've heard out of Luhnow indicates that they're willing to rush him, even in the measured way that they did with Altuve and Pence.

Congratulations!  Here's hoping good health for all.

And Fister just inspires, doesn't he?

He kinda hands it to you.

[Probable Pitchers]

Due to technical difficulties, this isn't on the home page for the moment:

My father was never that good at playing catch. Field of Dreams this was not. He was a band nerd in
high school, and his form was atrocious. A less charitable son would say that he threw like a girl. But
he’d still pick up his glove and stand out in the yard, or across the street at the park, and we’d toss the
ball around a bit. Levi’s 505s, white sneakers, and that odd, flailing elbow motion. Back and forth. Pop.
Pop. Pop.

It’s not like I can blame my lack of athletic achievement on my dad’s lousy throwing motion. Perhaps I
can blame him for a beanpole physique, but that’s about it. Most of all, he taught us to see games as
just that, baseball included. And he showed us that games could have a piece of our love, but not our
all-consuming obsession.

We’d continue the long toss tradition past the point where I was done with organized baseball, but
as many things do, it petered out altogether around the time that I left for college. I guess that’s the
way these things are supposed to go. I don’t recall seeing many men in their thirties who still toss
the pill around with their pater familias. But today I’m both reflecting the passing of that part of my
relationship with my dad, and looking forward to starting the same tradition for myself.

We saw the wedding tackle on the ultrasound at the end of the appointment. For whatever reason, I’d
been thinking “girl” ever since we found out in January. Either way, the seismic shift in my mentality
was immediate. There was an hour lag before the follow-up appointment when the doctor would tell
my wife that everything looked blessedly normal.

I filled that hour by driving from the Med Center to the Academy at 59 and Kirby, finding the tiniest
Astros shirt I could. It’s the new orange, so bright it’s sort of obnoxious. At least it’ll hide stains well. I
hope I can teach my son how to love this game like I do. And I hope that thirty years from now, he’s not
making fun of me on the internet for how I throw.

Probable Pitchers

Monday, May 13th

6:08 (!) CT, The House That Unemployment Built

Bud Norris (4-3, 3.40) v. Anibal Sanchez (3-3, 1.97)

Bud’s been the ace that we were expecting Harrell to be this year, at least at Minute Maid. On the road,
he’s been…well, the up-and-down Bud Norris we’ve seen for the past few years. He hasn’t faced any of
the Tigers much, with the exception of Prince Fielder, who’s 5-20 with a homer and six K’s against him.

Sanchez wasn’t the big, heralded signing that Zach Grienke was, but he’s certainly been far more
impactful in Detroit. There’s no faking a sub-2.00 ERA, even with a girl’s name. Pena’s had some
success against Sanchez, with a 1.017 OPS in 10 ABs, and Ronny Cedeno is 1-for-3 with a homer against
him.

Tuesday, May 14th

6:08 (?) CT, Rust Belt Park

Lucas Harrell (3-3, 4.67) v. Doug “Fister” Fister (4-1, 3.14)

Harrell’s been frustratingly inconsistent this year, missing the strikezone a lot and generally not
delivering the results we saw last year. As an AL Central refugee, Harrell’s seen most of the Tigers lineup
before. Fielder, Alex Avila and Omar Infante have all hit him well, and Miggy Cabrera has a homer off
him.

Fister’s had this season firmly in his grasp so far. He’s been pounding hitters, and squeezing out of some
tight spots. If he keeps ramming his pitches into the zone, he’ll keep getting the happy endings he’s
seen so far. In the past, Altuve’s given Fister quite the beating, with a 1.500 OPS, and Carter drove one
all the way into the hole with a homer as one of his three hits in eight AB’s. I BARELY KNOW ‘ER!

Wednesday, May 15th

12:08 (?!?) CT, The Definition of Urban Malaise Stadium

Dallas Keuchel (0-1, 4.43) v. Max Scherzer (5-0, 3.61)

Keuchel’s back in the starting lineup after the release of Humber and the relegation of Peacock to the
bully. His start against the Rangers went pretty well, but was marred by a lack of run support, and the
bullpen shitting the bed as per usual. In 19 AB’s, the Tigers are hitting a collective .368 against him, with
a couple of doubles and an RBI by Don Kelly.


Scherzer


SCHERZER


SCHERZER

What manner of molesty, heterochromia madness is this? I dare not say more.

Injuries

Astros

Josh Fields – 15 Day DL – Rehabbing his forearm strain

Justin Maxwell – 15 day DL – Could be back from broken hand by June.

Alex White – Out – Tommy John for EVERYONE!

Tigers

Octavio Dotel – 15-Day DL – Right elbow inflammation. Can’t pick up a baseball, which is pretty
important.

Austin Jackson – DTD – Sore right hammy.

Promotions
Is anyone actually going to go to Detroit for this series, just so they can get a Fister Mouse Pad (really)?
At least patronize us with Coca-Cola Value Days or some shit.

What to Watch For

The Post Postolos Astros. Say that five times fast.

Sanchez’s inevitable no-hitter.

A good Fisting.

I forgot that Blackley was an Aussie.

Off topic, but is it true that the Astros stopped serving fried chicken every game in the Diamond Club?

Not sure.  There was fried chicken on Tuesday night.  Obviously, a larger sample size is needed.

Which Audi did you end up with?  Note: if you say S7, they'll be searching the bayou for your body by 6pm.

This article addresses your question. http://newsok.com/article/3807357

Holy hell, that article reads like a fourth grade book report.

A few more scouting reports, from SB Nation, including Thunderpants:

Swings a bat like his elbows are stapled to his knees and his underwear is pulled over his head. Stares at you when you aren't looking.

My grandfather went ashore at D-Day plus 2, and worked his way through the hedgerows before getting wounded in some tiny French town.  My folks are headed over there this summer to follow the exact course that he took.  Apparently there are tours that can be customized based on what company you/your loved one was in. 

I'm extremely jealous.  If it weren't for the baby, we'd be stowing away with them.

Haven't seen anything.  Last season, I remember that his command was keeping him from getting more strikeouts (threw strikes, but too much in the middle).  Maybe he's getting better at spotting his pitches?  That's my guess, but that's not based on anything concrete.  On a related note, Wojo was holding the gun during Cosart's start and had him sitting 96-97 and hitting 98. 

He also hasn't had the blister issues that he ran into a lot last year, so maybe he's gripping the ball better.

The new Diamond Club is pretty fantastic. And Lyles looks like he's learned to attack hitters a lot more than he ever did last year.

I can't remember ever seeing a play quite like that.

What happened?  Gamecast isn't super helpful.

Skinny Will Smith
Lone Starr President
Welcome to Earf

Attaboy, Grossman!

Maxwell to the DL with a broken hand.  Possibly out for six weeks.  Grossman up from OKC.