Another Opening Day already?! Why, it seems like we just had one of these. After all these years they start to run together I guess, like if you had Milo and Berkman on the basepaths at the same time – you just know eventually Milo would overtake Lance and both of them would get called out.
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Rukakkies at Astros – Now Where’s that Mop Bucket?
On April - 6 - 2012
Astros at Reds – Slogging Toward The Finish Line
On September - 19 - 2011
After a rather lackluster couple of games with the (Fuck the) Cubs, the Astros continue their final death march road trip of the season against the Red Legs. Things have been a lot more bearable game watching-wise since the youth movement began in earnest, but seeing just how terrible this team has been all season is really staggering. The Astros are 37.5 games out of first in the Central. They have a -158 run differential, trailing only Minnesota (-1786) in that department. Yuck.
Astros at Cubs – Bear Turds in the Food Chain
On September - 16 - 2011
This is my last preview of the season, and I’m wrapping up my ninth year writing them. I always figured I would go at least 10 years, so I’d be a 10-year veteran and couldn’t be traded to the fucking American League without my approval. I guess I never figured the Astros themselves would be traded to the AL. Ain’t that a kick in the nuts.
Nationals at Astros – How Much Longer Until Football Season Again?
On July - 18 - 2011
I’m not going to lie. I don’t think I can handle another half season of shitty baseball like this. I’m still watching the occasional game, and checking to see how badly the Good Guys lost last night every day, but man, I don’t know how Kansas City fans do this year after year. This team is awful.
She Talks to Angels, Says They Call Her Out By Name
On July - 18 - 2011
Pirates 7, Astros 5 (11 innings)
W: Leroux (1-0)
L: Melancon (5-3)
I’d moved to that shitty little burg, country town with a population that was half of my junior high school. Those squarehead farmers were scared to death of us, city kids moving in to change everything. When I got there for 8th grade there were less than ten of us and we were concentrated in two grades, mine and the one just ahead of me.
Quiet on the Set! Roll Cameras!
On July - 3 - 2011
Usually a club would look forward to a nine game homestand, however the ‘Stros enter the last game of this home respite going only 1-7, and now have to face Beckett in the finale before boarding the last plane to Shitsburgh. Maybe the youngsters on this team (16 of them are 27 or younger) viewed this trip home as a time to sit back on the couch with a bag or two of potato chips and a 12 pack, and just prop their feet up and relax. Maybe they just don’t like coming home, as this team boasts (well, not really, more like cringes at) a home record of 14 – 32 for the year. Blame it all on MMPUS…or bullpen blowouts…or confusing an actual major league game with tryouts for the new Three Stooges remake.