July 14, 1983.  When I woke up, I was laying crossways at the foot-end of a double bed in the beach cabin, on my back, uncovered.  I had on a pair of Lamar U. gym shorts, once bright red but now faded almost pink – magenta, maybe – with the white piping along the sides and bottoms of the legs fraying and coming loose.  The skin along my chest and belly and on the tops of my arms and legs had turned medium to dark brown.  I had been out in the sun a lot that summer.  After burning off a few layers of skin early on in the spring, I no longer got sunburned.  Rather, each subsequent exposure just turned me darker.  And, melanoma be damned, I didn’t use sun block; at times I slathered on a coconut-oil based Coppertone product called Savage Tan, something like that, which not only did not block UV rays, but I am fairly certain was formulated to actively attract them. Read the rest of this entry »

by Alkie

This season promises to be unlike any season we’ve ever seen before. Mostly because that’s how linear time works. Spring Training is winding down and the rotations are almost set. Except for the last spot. And the spot before that.

As everyone puts together their fantasy team (for some reason) and gets out the ol’ Rainbow Gut from the mothballs, I notice people paying good money to buy predictions at other websites on how this season will play out. Well, fuck that! As part of my good will toward man (and child), I will offer these 101% guarantees for the 2007 season, absolutely free to you, the listener. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that the Astros are done for 2003, things have quieted down here at OWA.  Of course, we haven?t quite approached The Void yet, so all the offseason banter has yet to get fired up.  Hopefully, however, the post-choke whining is over with, and if it?s not, then we?ll try to make sure that you don?t have to read it. Read the rest of this entry »

By Scott
Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com on July 11, 2002.

So I don’t write much around here, but I figured in the wake of the recent turmoil and our decision to hang ‘em up after 6 years, I should probably chime in to 1) remind everyone that I exist and 2) just talk a bit about what the experience of running this site with Kev has meant to me. If you’re not interested in the nuts and bolts of the site or my personal ramblings, you can check out now and save yourself some time. But I figure there’s been a lot worse crap written on this site, and if that can fly as content, well then I think y’all can tolerate me for a spell. Read the rest of this entry »

By Steve Beitler
Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com on June 18, 2002.

The Ken Caminiti steroid flap has become yesterday’s news faster than the Astros bullpen can blow a lead, which tells us more about drugs and baseball than most of the pundits did when the story first broke.

“This could change baseball forever,” intoned Chris Rose of “The Best Damn Sports Show Period.” Read the rest of this entry »

By Knoxbanedoodle and Spiers for Hall of Fame
Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com on June 17, 2002.

DAY ONE

Knoxbanedoodle and Spiers For Hall Of Fame’s Astros Farm System road trip actually begins like this: we are in Providence, Rhode Island, in Spiers’s apartment, watching Oswalt strike out the side against the Pirates in the top of the eighth. He is throwing 98 MPH gas, the game is tied at one, and in the bottom of the inning Vizcaino pokes a little two run single into left field. We win.

Things are good. We keep saying: “Oswalt,” or “Dude, Oswalt,” or occasionally just: “Dude!” Read the rest of this entry »