The last series before THE VOID, well for the Astros at least. It seems like only yesterday it was the first day of Spring Training and visions of 90 win seasons still danced in our heads. A few hits, a few runs, a disgruntled number one pitcher, an overused, oft-injured bullpen, and one manager later, and even 80 wins are already out of reach. The last road trip of the year finds the hometown nine slinking into New York City (get a rope!) with their collective tails between their legs. The Mets must sweep this series to win 70 games this season, not quite fulfilling their Spring Training hopes, either.
Archive for the ‘Series Previews’ Category
Are We There Yet?: Astros @ Phillies Preview
On September - 28 - 2009
Let’s see what else is on…
- The Texans fumble away victory in ways that remind me uncomfortably of my junior year of high school.
- The Cowboys stadium is more interesting than their team. And the stadium is only interesting for being the most self-aggrandizing shrine to ego since the Taj Mahal. To which it (really) compares itself.
- Politics is still a shitshow of name-calling, hyperbole, and cronyism. I wish I could stage cage fights between Birthers and 9/11 Truthers.
- The Rockets are clearing planning on bombing this season with the goal of a franchise-boosting lottery pick, but everyone’s okay with this because we have basketball’s Billy Beane on our side. Hoo-fucking-ray.
- The only good new show of this TV season features Joseph Fiennes making this face for an hour each night:
Reds at Astros – Reddy For This Season To Be Over
On September - 25 - 2009
Minute Maid Park
And the winner of this week’s Mihoba is… What? I’m not finished writing Series Previews? Ah shit.
Cardinals at Astros – Shooting the Bird
On September - 21 - 2009
Strosrays’ observations about hunting and the connection to nature struck a nerve with me, because I know exactly what he’s talking about. I’ve never hunted ducks though, because shit, I grew up in Lubbock. The only ducks there are in the city parks on shitty playa lakes. About the only things to hunt around Lubbock are dove, and I did plenty of that.
SEASON OF THE ¿¿WHICH??
On September - 18 - 2009
SEASONS IN HELL, VOL. I, NO. 8
You’ve got to pick up every stitch
The rabbit’s running in the ditch
Beatniks are out to make it rich
Houston at Cincy: All Aboard for Shitville
On September - 14 - 2009
Well, it’s come to this: two teams playing out the string, still enmeshed in less than stellar seasons, trotting out before sparse and lethargic spatterings of fans, still packing and unpacking for trips to Nowhere, or in this case, The Big Nowhere in Ohio, and wondering how in the world it all went to hell this bad. And, ladies and gentlemen, one of these teams is your 2009 Houston Astros. The eternal optimism of spring has given way to the warm bucket of shit of late summer–speaking of which, does anyone else think that the logo on the Wyoming Cowboys helmets looks like someone wiped their ass on it prior to kickoff? No? I guess that’s just me. Anyway, you know the score by now: an erratic pitching staff, sputtering offense (note the correct spelling, Limey) and so-so defense has our team sitting here at 70-73 on September 14th. “90 wins,” Cooper? No, but they’d probably be ten wins better without you along. While to some extent interesting, it’s been mostly sad and exasperating to watch a career baseball man do and say things that just aren’t said and done at this level–at least not in the light of day. Had McLane canned him during the season, he’d be finished in baseball after a season full of snafus. At least now, he’ll get to do the Art Howe gig for the Brewers FSN affiliate next year. Good luck, Cecil and you’ll be pleased to know they have Costcos in Milwaukee.
