Astros 0, Cardinals 5
WP: Lynn (16-7 3.79)
LP: Harrell (10-10 3.89)
by Sphinx Drummond
Louis IX was king of France from 1226 until his death in 1270. He was only 12 years old when he assumed the throne. He was a fighting king and led a couple of crusades. It was during his second crusade that he died in Tunis–Muslim territory. As was the custom in such locales, his body was boiled until his flesh separated from his bones. A couple of his organs were buried on the spot in Tunis, as was the Christian tradition.
His heart was sealed in an urn and sent to Italy where his brother ruled, and his bones were shipped back to his homeland. His corpse bones, after a brief visit to Bologna, were taken to the French royal necropolis at Saint-Denis. He was canonized. In the 14 century, to store his bones, they built a magnificent monument/tomb all shiny and brassy which was melted down in the 15th century when they needed the resources to fight the Huguenots.
Along the way most of his remains turned up missing, in fact only one finger remains and is kept at Saint-Denis. I believe to be his middle finger of his right hand.
The Astros lost again on a Wednesday night, their best pitcher took the loss, they were shut out, they’re not very good, they’re moving to the AL. Anyway, I see an opportunity, I’m a gonna borrow crusty old Saint Louis’ bony finger just long enough to hold it up and say, Fuck You Bud.