Astros 1, Cubs 0
W: Lyles (4-11)
L: Germano (2-7)
Contributed by Reuben
Now we know why the Astros have been winning so (relatively) much lately. Interim Manager Tony DeFrancesco has begun giving out pairs of headphones to his chosen player of the game after a win. Not just any pair of Coby or even Sony – we’re talkin’ a $200 pair of headphones. Evidently he was so pleased after last night’s 1-0 victory that he gave out “$1000 worth” – Maxwell, Wright, Cedeno, Valdez, and Lopez each got a pair. What, no pair for Jordan Lyles, who threw 5 shutout innings and worked around some crappy defense? Perhaps Jimmy Paredes (3 errors) was forced to give Lyles his own pair, or maybe even a whole iPod.
Really, this game was just a whole series of gifts – the ones Paredes and Greene (surprise, surprise) tried to give the Cubs by kicking the ball around, but the Cubs didn’t seem to want, and the ones the Cubs gave the Astros. In the 3rd, a throwing error by the catcher allowed F-Mart to reach 1st, and Paredes to go all the way to 3rd, from whence he would score on a Maxwell sac fly.
In the 6th, DeFrancesco tried to give the Cubs a gift, by letting Xavier Cedeno face two righty batters, Castro and Sappelt. He gave up a single and a double to them, leaving Mickey Storey a 1-out mess to clean up. Storey gave up a fly ball to center that seemed certain to drive in the tying run, but alas, the Cubs had another gift, this one a joint present from Sappelt, who stupidly decided to try to advance to 3rd, and Starlin, who jogged the last ten feet to home, allowing Dominguez to make the tag at 3rd before he crossed the plate. Perhaps it is foolish to gloat about moments like these when the Astros are the undisputed worst team in baseball, but it was a very Cub moment.
I didn’t watch too closely, the last few innings – I was listening to the Valleycats’ playoff game, which was pretty exciting (they won, a 5-4 walk-off). I know Jose Valdez pitched the 8th, struck out a couple guys, then had some Valverde-esque gesticulations as he walked off the mound. Wilton gave up a couple singles in the 9th but ultimately shut the door, preserving the unlikely 1-0 win.
Now, what I don’t understand is, what are some of these guys going to do if they get 3 or 4 pairs of $200 headphones? Can they trade in 2 for a BB gun?