Astros 2, Reds 1
by Mr. Happy
Tonight’s game goes into the W column. It doesn’t really matter how it happened, although it was beautiful and poetic justice that defeat for the Dickities came at the hands of Wilson Valdez, whose porous glove allowed the winning run to scamper home from 3B. Valdez wouldn’t have even been in the ball game had Brandon Phillips not gotten run by HPU Andy Fletcher in the top of the eighth inning after squawking about a third strike call. Thanks, Phillips, you dickhead. Way to think out there, genius.
It was a shame that Lucas Harrell’s 115 pitch performance over seven innings couldn’t be rewarded with a W, but that’s how these things sometimes go. Harrell showed significant pitchability and guts in the seventh inning when his command began to slip away. What do you know? The bully was nothing short of specfuckingtacular tonight, blowing away five hitters via the K in its two innings of work. Wilton Lopez was the beneficiary of the gift run courtesy of the Valdez misplay, notching his sixth win of the season, going to 6-3 on a 41-92 ball club.
The bats didn’t do much tonight against Homer Bailey, who only allowed three hits in his eight innings of work, one of which left the yard, courtesy of Justin Maxwell, his 13th of the season. However, in the crucial ninth inning, the bats did what they needed to do to prevail. So what if the “uprising” consisted of one hit, a double, by the recently recalled Matt Downs, an intentional pass, a hit batsman and an error. We’ll take it. Fuck you, Dusty.