steM 3 Astros 1
by Mr. Happy
R. A. Dickey was on the mound for the Mets today. I love watching knuckleballers pitch. It takes me back to my high school senior prom when I was pressured into taking this ugly girl who had a crush on me and who claimed that I asked her when I was very drunk.
At the prom, and before it, my friends and some of my team mates were giving me so much shit about the date that I feigned an ankle sprain so that I could leave the dance and go back to the motel room. Back at the room, unfortunately accompanied by my date, I turned on the television and, lo and behold, the motel had WTBS, which was showing the Braves game.
I was giddy and fixed myself a drink, the first of many, and proceeded to pay zero attention to my date and to watch Phil Niekro and a sorry Braves team play the almost as bad Philadelphia Phillies. Niekro threw a complete game, and the Braves won 4-2. Here’s the box score that literally saved my life and reputation.
During the game, I paid absolutely no attention to my date and focused on Niekro’s magical mastery of the knuckleball, despite her bothersome amorous advances. By game’s end, my date realized that the fix was in. I had ruined her senior prom. She never spoke to me again, which didn’t bother me. I was a hero with the guys for quick thinking. But I digress.
Meanwhile, back at the Astros game, one Fernando Abad was on the mound for the Good Guys against R.A. Dickey. For three innings, Abad bent but didn’t break, walking a bunch. Unfortunately, the Mets scratched out a run for a lead that they would never relinquish. The Astros would only garner five hits off of Dickey and the Mets en route to a 3-1 loss in Flushing, Queens.
Missoula, here I come!!!