Cardinals 13 Astros 5
by Mr. Happy
Today’s matinee was just another in a seemingly endless series of games of suck where the Good Guys start off good but finish shitty as usual. The Astros touched up Terdinals starter Jake Westbrook, who wasn’t sharp, for five runs in five innings of work. However, just to provide more proof that he’s up to the suckitude task, Dallas Keuchel, who falls to 1-6, yielded six runs (five of them earned) in but four plus innings.
The game could have ended after five frames with the Terdinals up 6-5 and I’d have been happier than I usually am. However, the Cards weren’t finished dealing, piling on seven more runs to win going away. The Terdinals bully, unlike our leaky bully, was very stingy, shutting the Astros out in the last four frames. Countering their bullpen proved to be too difficult for the cadre of wannabe big league pitchers who paraded into the game after Dallas Keuchel, who, himself, is a wannabe in my opinion.
We welcomed the newest Astro, one Hector Ambriz, who immediately proved that he belonged in Houston (he was cut this year by pitching-starved Cleveland, which I learned in the Game Zone–amazing what you can learn in there–so that should tell you all you need to know about Ambriz) by surrendering two earnies in one inning of shit. We bade farewell to the recently DFA’d Armando “I got nothing” Galarraga. What took so long to see that?
The losing streak has now reached seven as we make our way to the Big Apple to play the fucking steM. Read Craig’s series piece. It’s full of the customary venom and f-bombs that we’ve come to know and love Craig for. I could go on and on about how crappy this team is, but it wouldn’t do any of us any good. We suck. Thank you, that is all.