If the Pirates are a team that has sucked and sucked HARD for the last 20 years, what does it say when the Astros are a game ahead of them in the standings? I don’t know either, but it’s not like this is a celebration, bitches.
It’s the Astros who are regularly joked about in the press, they’re readily compared to a AAA team that took the wrong bus. Maybe the Pirates have been so bad so long that they’ve become the definition instead of receiving the adjective, so other teams like the Astros get the benefit of pent-up snark. Suck it, pundits. Your mom’s got the Hungry-Man ready, time to get out of the bedroom. And put a shirt on first, for god’s sake.
Friday, May 11
6:05 CT, PNC Park
Bud Norris kicked their ass.
Saturday, May 12
6:05 CT, PNC Park
J.A. Happ (2-2, 5.24) v. Charlie Morton (1-3, 4.61)
Happ has been surprisingly effective since coming back up from OKC last season. Not like he was in 2010, mind you, but not the train wreck he was most of last season. The Cards racked him up in his last start, but he should get a much larger margin for error against the Pirates, whose bats have been a great ad for Viagra so far in 2012. McCutchon takes Happ to the woodshed, hitting .364 with 3 homers. Jose Tabata is 1 for 13.
Morton is a lost soul, in search of the Lost Pitch. Carlos hits .348 against him; not much else to see here, move along.
Sunday, May 13
12:35 PM CT, PNC Park
Wandy Rodriguez (3-3, 2.14) v. A.J. Burnett (1-2, 6.08)
The marquee matchup of the weekend is Ace Wandy against former stud A. J. Barnett, who is trying to live down the ‘damaged goods’ label. Barmes is 4 for 10, McGehee hits .360 and Neil Walker hits .429 with a solo homer. McCutchen is hitting .167 against Wandy.
Minus the one meltdown start against the Jakes, Burnett has been strong this season but he pitches for a team that can’t score runs. Burnett owns Lawrie, holding him to .143 over 14 ABs.
Saturday it’s the Joel Hanrahan All-Star Bobblehead. Sunday, kids get a Neil Walker replica home jersey; moms get Neil’s Replica Pink Accent home jersey, formerly only seen in Neil’s private grotto when Boy George and Frankie Goes to Hollywood came over.
Sergio Escalona is out for the season. Weiland is dealing with a right shoulder infection and won’t even begin throwing until June. Or so. Might get back in July.
Bedard is day-to-day with back spasms
Karstens is out for a while with right shoulder inflammation. Try some Aleve and aloe vera if the tobacco juice doesn’t help, you ponce.
Leroux is on the 60-day with a strained pectoral muscle
Nunez is on the 60-day after right ankle surgery
What To Watch For
Hopefully not the AAAA World Series.