Astros 3
Braves 0

Craig Biggio, accustomed to leading his team out on the field, ran out on the field today for the last time, all by himself. We didn’t get a chance to see this with Jeff Bagwell and I doubt he would have embraced the role as completely as has Biggio. These teammates created the Houston Astros, brought them from a team that competed sometime to a team that is always expected to compete. They brought the franchise the respect they now enjoy throughout baseball.Hunter Pence, Lance Berkman, Carlos Lee will try to build on that, but they will never mean what Biggio and Bagwell mean to us. They could be just as good, maybe even better, but it will definitely be different. The beginning has ended for the Astros.

But this game meant something different for Felipe Paulino, 6 innings allowed 2 singles and no runs, and for Hunter Pence. Maybe something different for Brad Ausmus and Mark Loretta, Cooper took them off the field in the 5th to let the crowd give them ovations. Maybe farewell, maybe see ya later.

Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman got their curtain calls in the 6th. Lee flung his hat into the crowd as he went into the dugout. (I got the hat flinging wrong, Footer “… Loretta threw his hat to the crowd…Berkman also threw his cap into the stands after hugging Biggio …” Link)

It was definitely a different game for Braves pitcher, journeyman Brandon Carlyle, who waited patiently while Biggio waves to the crowd before his first at bat. There was also Clint Sammons rookie catcher for the Braves getting the first hit of his career in his second at bat. C Jones competing hard for a batting title and also for A. Jones who was a spectator today, watching the future he has rejected.

In the first Biggio doubled. Classic straight up stance, bat up, talks to himself, “come on” rock back, the vestigial remnant of the leg kick, slashing swing, liner to left.

Carlos Lee, paying tribute in his own playful way, used Biggio’s bat to knock Craig in from 2nd.

The difficult part was in the field, forcing his aching shoulder for one more good throw to complete a double play in the 2nd.

In his second at bat, he just got beat on a routine grounder to short.

Had a little trouble getting in the box in the 5th. Taking a long look around at the standing crowd before stepping in.

Even more trouble in the 7th, making his way to the plate he tapped the rookie catcher on the shin guard with his bat, classic good luck move, waved to the crowd, homeplate ump Angel Hernandez walked around to the front of the plate then the pitcher Mahay stepped off, everyone was trying to stall for as long as possible. Biggio laid off a slider away and finally bounced three steps to the left of 3rd, Chipper hesitated, then threw Biggio out by a step.

Cody Ransom replaced Craig Biggio at 2nd in the top the 8th. He waved, hugged everyone, walked into the dugout and was gone.

Biggio was a player who talked to the media in clichés and embodied every one of them. He understood exactly what day to day meant. Sure, no one knows what will happen tomorrow, but what that meant to Biggio is that you play today as hard as you can and enjoy what you do while you’re doing it.

Today’s game is always the most important game of the season, until the next day’s game.

By MRaup

Minute Maid Park

Friday, September 28, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, September 29, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Sunday, September 30, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

Well, here it is. The moment we’ve been dreading. Craig Biggio is riding off into the hustle-colored sunset. Apparently hustle and the constant smog over Houston look a lot alike. Drawing the last preview of the year is both a blessing and a curse. This will be the preview you remember going in to the void.

Or it will be the preview you wish you could forget about all off-season… No pressure or anything.

(more…)

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Astros 4
Dickities 3

W: Borkowski | L: Majewski | S: Lidge

Lidge had ‘em gripping in the Game Zone
Cable, dish or fiber in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
Alyson knows the score
AP via Yahoo!

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As the shit snowball that is 2007 slows to just a steaming pile, from any Astros fan’s perspective - anyone not named Raup - getting perfected by a young Reds pitcher would be a dubious, yet somewhat appropriate exclamation point to this “lost season.” Yet there I was, watching it all. What am I feeling? Have Jim and Mark given me pause to consider this lad who they know so well, as he lays zeros upon my favorite team? Am I actually rooting for him to do it??
(more…)

September 26, 2007
Astros 7, Redlegs 6
W: Sarfate (1-0) | L: Burton (4-2) | S: Qualls (5)
The Footer Recap
AP Recap! via Yahoo!

Talk Zone, teetering on the brink of The Void
Brief, poignant Game Zone thread

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The Game

Last night’s game featured everything you would expect from 2 long-since-out-of-contention teams in the last week of the season, if what you expect is a plethora of home runs, mediocre starting pitching, and a tight back-and-forth bullpen war culminating in a one run squeaker decided in the late innings. Twinkie was huge – both in physical size and on-field performance – driving in 4 to reach the 100 RBI plateau for the 5th time in his career. (more…)

Astros 8, Reds 5
W: Paulino (1-1) | L: Coutlangus (4-2) | S: Lidge (17)
HRs: Pence (16) Votto (3)

AP recap from that ya-hoo site
Alyson’s wrap

Time is running out on Craig Biggio’s career, but he drove in the go-ahead run in game one of his final road trip as the Astros rallied from a four-run deficit to beat the Reds 8-5 Tuesday night at the rainy Great American Empty Ball Park. (more…)

By Craig Elliott

Great American Ball Park

Tuesday, September 25, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, September 26, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, September 27, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN

This series will wrap up the Astros’ road schedule for the year. Their record away from home is 28-50, which is the worst in the National League. The Astros could conceivably pass the Reds for fourth place in the Central standings before the end of the year; not that it really matters, but at least we wouldn’t have to stand downwind of them all winter.

Also, here’s my Public Service Announcement for Astros rookies, since this is their first visit to Cincinnati:

* If someone offers you a Three-Way, DO NOT take it. They aren’t offering you a half-hour with the Brady girls. No, a Cincinnati Three-Way is a bowl of noodles with a pile of shit on top. With chocolate and cinnamon garnish. An hour after eating this, your ass will start wafting “Cincinnati Air Fresheners.”

* If you’re in bar and a guy says, “Hey, let’s grab our sacks and play some Cornhole,” it’s OK. But this offer is only good in Cincinnati, and never, ever in San Francisco.

No decent giveaways this series, though fans who run onto the field can go to jail and play in a free cornhole tournament with the Bengals. (more…)

By ’strosrays 

The Most Fucked-Up Fucking Series Preview in the Fucking History of Western Fucking Civilization

Astros (66-86) at Retardinals (71-80)

Fuckin’ Busch Stadium (III)
700 fuckin’ Clark Avenue
St. Louis, fuckin’ MO  63102

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▪Thursday, September 20 (7:10 p.m. CDT) – FSN (Fucking bullshit Sports Network)

▪Friday, September 21 (7:10 p.m. CDT) – FSN

▪Saturday, September 22 (6:15 p.m. CDT) – KNWS

▪Sunday, September 23 (7:05 p.m. CDT) – ESPN (Especially Suck-ass fucking Penile Network)

 **********

“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck” – Noe

There apparently isn’t going to be an official, sanctioned Series Preview posted for this series.  That isn’t really any big deal, it has happened before.  Sometimes life and the resulting responsibilities (or the utter lack of any creative ideas, which is even scarier) intrude into the Preview writing process, and you, gentle readers, will just have to fucking excuse us for it.  We got lives, too, motherfuckers!  Well, at least some of us.

Anyway, I believe this particular Preview was assigned to Foghorn.  I’m not really surprised at his no-show, he has been kind of scarce around here lately.  That is nothing against Foggy at all who, aside from being one of my favorite people on the planet and a constant inspirational beacon of utter vulgarity, is also involved in work much more important than my own, I believe.  If a Series Preview isn’t written because Foghorn is helping save someone’s fucking life or sumpin’, who the fuck am I to complain?  Plus, there are some rumors out there (admittedly started by me, mostly) that Foghorn has recently been engaged in serious medical research with a 17-year-old female Swedish exchange student he is hosting in his home this semester.  Now, I ask you. . . Series Preview?  Or Swedish exchange student?  I’ll let you decide.

I read somewhere recently that the movie The Usual Suspects contained 98 instances of the word “fuck” or one of it’s forms or derivatives in it.  I always liked that movie, now I know why.  Anyway, 98 fucks is impressive, and may even be a record, unless there is some Joe Pesci-Harvey Keitel movie out there somewhere I’ve forgot.  So impressive that I am using those 98 fucks as a goal and the perpetually profane Foghorn as an inspiration here.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Special Encore BONUS Series Preview, Astros at Co-ardinals, the uncut Fuck-all Version.  Read it and fucking weep. (more…)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Astros 18
Turds 1

W: Wandy (holy shit!) | L: Looper

Share the joy in the Fredia Zone
Skydiving tips in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
Alyson on the scene!
AP pickin’ scraps

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Wandy on the road. Sluggish Astros offense with Looper on the mound. Throw out your expectations friends, because yes, tonight was a beat-down but one the Good Guys® put on the sinking 3rdinals 18-1. Led by record-setting RBI man J.R. Towles, the Astros put up 23 hits, scored in 6 out of 9 innings, and batted around in the 7th and 8th innings. (more…)

Brewers 6, Astros 0
W: Gallardo (9-4) L: Albers (4-9)
HR: Mench

AP: ESPN

One team came with some serious business to attend to.

And Albers took care of exactly that, dotting Ryan Braun in the first inning. Memo to Matt - make sure not to give up two-run doubles after you deliver the team’s messages.
(more…)

By Taras Bulba

Brewers (76-72) at Astros (65-84)

Monday, September 18th, 7:05pm CDT-FSN
Tuesday, September 19th, 7:05pm CDT-FSN
Wednesday, September 20th, 7:05pm CDT-FSN

The Brewers (them again) are in town and playing for something. They’re sitting one game back of the Cubs. The Astros are smack dabbed tied with Florida for the worst record in the NL. To riff on strosrays’ bizarre WWII analogies from the Pirates series, the Brewers are Zhukov’s Red Army and Minute Maid is Berlin, defended by a hapless cast of youths and old men from a Volkstrum unit. Or, something.

(more…)

By ’strosrays 

The Pirates Look At 40

Pirates (65-81) at Astros (63-83)
Minute Maid Park, 501 Crawford St., Houston, TX  77002
a/k/a “The Wal-Mart at Union Station” 

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▪Friday, September 14 (7:05 p.m. CDT) – FSN

▪Saturday, September 15 (6:05 p.m. CDT) – KNWS (Kick-ass Nineteen Watt Signal)

▪Sunday, September 16 (1:05 p.m. CDT) – FSN

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Ahoy and Avast, the Pirates Suck Ass (ah, but so too the hometown Astros)

Now is the silly time of the season for also-rans like the Astros and the Pirates.  They can expand their rosters to up to forty players each, and there are so many farmhands wandering around, you wonder how they can all fit on the bench during games.  The Astros and Pirates have a lot in common these days, it seems.  They have similar records this season, and one or the other will finish in the NL Central cellar.  Their immediate prospects for the future don’t look so good, either.  The Pirates are in the midst of a stretch of mediocrity of historic proportions, 15 straight losing seasons, and no end in sight.  They probably have no chance of turning it around until the current inept ownership sells the team to someone with enough sense to hire good baseball people and open up the checkbook and stay out of the way.  The Astros are at the beginning of a downward spiral that probably won’t wind completely out until the current (gutless) proprietor/huckster figures out his endless meddling in baseball decisions and his Dale Carnegie bullshit isn’t going to get it anymore, and decides to go elsewhere, where there are people who want to be champions, today (there is of course the possibility this will never happen, fans.)  Drayton McLane can micromanage in the business world, and force his silly motivational crap down the throats of all the underlings he pays $7.50-an-hour with meager benefits to wear blue aprons, and fake smiles, while they move his cheap, Chinese-made merchandise, while he gets rich off of the disadvantaged and disaffected. . . but his business ideas and his brand of hypocritical pandering don’t work quite as well on professional baseball men, or on millionaire players, either.

You had some good times in Houston, McLane, but you have stayed on too long.  Save your legacy, do us all a favor, and take your hoary bromides and your polished Florsheim loafers and your idiot offspring and just get the fuck out.  Sell the team.  I don’t care to who.  Please, Drayton.  Don’t leave mad, just leave.  Shove off. (more…)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

sCrUBS 6
Astros 2

W: Trachsel | L: Williams

Utter disbelief in the Game Zone
Fight like a flamingo in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
Alyson wraps it up
AP via Yahoo!

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“It’s been a season of frustration, I’m sure, for everyone that’s a fan, everyone that’s involved with the organization.” -Woody Williams
(more…)

September 12, 2007
Astros 2, Baby Bears 3
W: Hill (9-8) | L: Albers (4-8) | S: Dempster (26)
The Footer Recap
AP Recap! via Yahoo!

Talk Zone
Game Zone thread

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RECAP IMPOSSIBLE, AS MALAYASIAN VACATION HAS TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORSE STOP WAS TOLD EXPENSES WOULD BE LOW, RUBGIRLS PLENTIFUL STOP SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME STOP KIDNAPPED BEFORE NOON ON FIRST DAY STOP FEAR THAT I AM BEING SOLD INTO SEX TRADE STOP PLEASE GOD SEND HIGHTOWER WITH GUNS AND PENICILLIN STOP
…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…—…

Salem fell in another early hole and couldn’t climb out.  They lost game 4 5-1 and lost the series 3-1.

Quote

“It’s a disappointing finish to a really good season,” said Salem manager Jim Pankovits

“It’s sad,” said Salem shortstop Wladimir Sutil.  “I got on base, but we didn’t hit to score runs,” Sutil said. “[Monday] we had 15 hits and only four runs. You cannot win that way.”

Astros 5, Cubs 4 in 11
W: Lidge (4-2) | L: Dempster (2-6)
HRs: DeRosa (9)

Footer wraps it up
AP recap via Yahoo!

Luke Scott lined a walk-off triple to the right-center bullpen fence in the bottom of the 11th to knock the Cubs out of a first place tie and take game one of the three game set in front of the hometown crowd. (more…)

Salem fell behind 2-0 and couldn’t catch up in a 6-4 loss that puts them on the brink of losing the series.

Wlad Sutil was impressive in the lead off spot going 4-5 with 2 RBI and a SB.

The turning point in the game may have been the 8th inning when the following occurred as reported by the Roanoke Times:

Quote

Salem was down 5-2 going into the bottom of the eighth when Pat Osborn and Cesar Quintero singled and Justin Tellam walked to load the bases. Tellam was replaced by pinch-runner Greg Buchanan. Orlando Rosales struck out; then Sutil singled to bring in two runs.

Hart, who went 2-for-5, struck out. Einertson, who went 3-for-5 with an RBI, singled to left field. Buchanan raced for home but was thrown out at the plate by left fielder Chris Amador.

Pankovits vigorously argued that Buchanan was safe, but to no avail.

“I didn’t think it was going to be close,” Pankovits said. “I turned my attention to Sutil to get him to third as the go-ahead run. … I turned back, and he was called out.

“I thought he was safe.”
Polin Trinadad takes the mound tonight hoping to extend the series to game 5.

By MRaup

Minute Maid Park

Tuesday, September 11, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, September 12, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, September 13, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

(more…)

Tim Torres and Pat Osborn struck out in the 9th representing the winnings run as the Av’s lost Saturday’s first game of the Carolina League Championship 3-2.
(more…)

Salem won the deciding game of the Southern Division playoffs over Kinston 5-3.

Chris Blazek pitched well out of the pen going 2 1/3 innings allowing a hit and a walk while striking out 5 to earn the win.  This brings Blazeks line for the play offs to 4 2/3 innings pitched, a hit, a walk, 9 strike outs, a save & a win.

Quote

“He has the guts of a burglar,” Avalanche manager Jim Pankovits said. “There’s nobody I’d rather have the ball at the end of a game than him. Probably nobody in the league.”

The Avs battled out of an early 3-0 hole created by Bud Norris who pitched well except for the second where he gave up 3 runs on 3 walks and two hits.  He only gave up one other hit in his 5 1/3 innings and struck out 6.

Av’s outfielders Hart & Rosales gunned down runners at the plate in the 4th & 6th to hold the game at 3 all.

Tri Cities:
Russel Dixon had three hits and two RBI, Colin Delome had two hits and two RBIs, and Steve Brown had two hits and 2 RBI as the ValleyCats decided to not leave any hits in their bats for the off season in an 11-2 season ending victory.  Carlos Ladeuth had another effective start for the win.

By Craig Elliott
Shea Stadium

Friday, September 7, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, September 8, 12:10 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Sunday, September 9, 12:10 p.m. CDT – KNWS

The Astros are having another dogshit roadtrip, or so I hear. After several days of fucked-up satellite receivers and fucked-up blackout rules, I haven’t seen the Astros play in a week or more. But the stench is strong enough that I can smell it through the internet, so I’m just assuming dogshit roadtrip.

The cockslobber Mets have the best record in the league and the largest divisional lead. They’re much better on the road than at home this year, mainly because they get to relax at so many airports. The Puerto Rican Whore is leading the team with 27 homers, and David Wright has 26. John Maine has 14 wins, but the Astros won’t see him this series.

Also, the Stem can take their shitty blue-and-black USFL batting helmets and go pound them up each other’s asses. It’ll be like when Anna Benson was in town, but without so much lube and penicillin. (more…)