June 23, 1007

Rangers 7
Astros 2

W: Wright | L: Oswalt
Biggio sits strategically at 2993

Light-hitting Game Zone
Where’s the Shiner 98? Find out in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
Alyson talks to Roy
AP via Yahoo!

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The Silver Boot needs to kick this team in the ass. The offense wilted in the north Texas sun and the big inning continued to hurt Houston pitching as the Astros dropped another one to the fucking stRangers, 7-2. That’s 3 straight if you’re counting.
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Rangers 11, Astros 3
W: Millwood (4-6) | L: Williams (3-10)
Seven hits shy of 3000 for Biggio (2993, 1-5)

AP recap
Footer wrap

Woody Williams had a bad game. He started shaky by allowing three hits and a run in the first inning, and allowed another run on a walk and a hit in the second. Woody seemed to regain his effectiveness by escaping a three-walk jamb in the third, and retired the side in order in the fourth. By the time he took to the hill in the fifth, his teammates had spotted him with a 3-2 lead. The slim lead quickly vanished as he gave up a single then back-to-back homers and he was quickly yanked, throwing 103 pitches in his 4+ innings and down 5-3 on the scoreboard. Read the rest of this entry »

By Foghorn

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington

Friday, 7:35 PM on FSSW
Saturday, 2:55 PM on FOX (sweet, we get to see Jeanne Zelasko, owner of the biggest set of man hands this side of Rachel Ray)
Sunday, 7:35 PM on KNWS

Notable giveaways

In honor of Sammy the Clown’s 600th Home Run, the Rangers are giving all fans 16 and older a free 10cc injection of Durabolin. There are other festivities planned as well to celebrate the Hippy Hoppy Bunny’s historic HR, including:

–a pre-game demonstration on proper bat corking techniques
–loud salsa music blared over the PA to the annoyance of everyone else
–premature HR celebration/trot on fly balls to the warning track
–and much, much more.
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June 20, 2007
Astros 4, Los Anaheim Halos at Disney 8
W: Carrasco (2-1) | L: Borkowski (1-2)
The End is Near: 2,992 (0-5)
Bask in the Game Zone majesty (particularly, absorb the emotional transition between pages 12 and 14)
Discuss the possibility of carrying as many as 14 pitchers in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
AP Recap
The Footer Recap

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I want so badly to see a pitcher bat again

Beer league’s almost over, kids. Hang in there. Hang in there. The ‘Stros dropped the rubber game 8-4 with another 7th inning clusterfuck, marring a good outing by Wandy and a strong performance by Thunder Pants at the plate. Read the rest of this entry »

Smarch 13, 2013
Obliques: Eleventy, Shoulders: 0
W: Sammy Davis, Jr. | L: Spuds MacKenzie
Other coverage

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Astros at Angels, 6/18/07
Score: Angels 10, Astros 9
W: Rordriguez (1-2) L: Borkowski (1-1)
Homeruns: Scott (7), Lamb (6)
March to 3000: 2,990 (1-6, one gawdawful throw)
Read Alyson’s Report Here: Footer
Or the AP recap here: Yahoo!

Once again, we repeat our mantra: Fuck the West Coast.
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