By Taras Bulba

Brewers (13-8) at Astros (9-12)
Minute Maid Park (www.bellcountyexpo.com/)
AKA “The Juice Box,” “MMPUS,” “Contrived Retro Whatever”

Friday, April 28, 7:05 p.m. CDT-FSN
Saturday, April 29, 6:05 p.m. CDT-KNWS
Sunday, April 30, 1:05 p.m. CDT-FSN

As strosrays pointed out in the Pirate preview, no one is really sure if KNWS really exists or if it is merely some bootleg operation run out of Nuevo Laredo, spewing forth a steady dose of rancheras, cumbias, Doug Sahm, natural male enhancement offers, and occasional Astros broadcasts.  Per their custom, Time Warner apparently can’t find their phone number, so the Austin types won’t be getting the game.  That’s a good reason then for all of you tree huggers to load up the hybrid, stop by Whole Earth for some organic hummus, sing some protest songs and old Negro spirituals and head over to Necktown for the ballgame.  Hell, you might even make a pit stop in Brenham where you’ll meet a girl named Shelly Dubinski.  Ask her if she can get three dates for your friends.

Read the rest of this entry »

April 26, 2007

Astros 3
Pirates 5

W: Jonah Bayliss | L: Wandy Rodriguez (dude does NOT deserve to be 0-3)
Pigpen watch: 2,951 (11:30 AM CDT? Pshaww!)

Just don’t say wingn…(DUCK!!) (GameZone archived)
Numb realizations

Other coverage
Alyson’s starting to happen.
Ya-HOOOOOOO!

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YAAAWN!
It’s no surprise that an early first pitch after a 16 inning loss the night before would result in a lackluster performance by a reeling offense and that was surely the case as a stand-up performance by Wandy went for naught and the Good Guys dropped their sixth straight to the Pie-roots and padded their overall losing streak to six. Read the rest of this entry »

April 25, 2007
Astros 3, Pirates 4
W: John Wasdin | L: Brian Moehler
Pigpen watch: 2,951 (3-5)
Interminably long GameZone thread goes here
Second guessing, anger venting and rationalization goes here

Other coverage:
AP story
Astros.com wrap featuring The Footer

In a Nutshell:
It was kind of like this. Very long, with curious decision making, poor execution at pivotal times, and you get whacked in the head and pass out at the end.

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The Astros dropped a tough one tonight, losing after pushing this one out to 16 innings in a thinly veiled attempt to get Brian Moehler some work. Houston out-hit the Pirates 16 to 10, but left 18 on base to Pittsburgh’s 8, a futility mark that ultimately sealed the deal. The bullpen gets a hearty golf clap for throwing 9.2 shut out frames, a feat hopefully not lost in the general morass of suck that the bats brought to the game tonight. Read the rest of this entry »

Pirates 3, Astros zip
W: Maholm (1-2) L: Woody (0-3)
Homeruns: Paulino
March to 3000: 2,948 (2×4)
Alyson chimes in tonight.
AP recap from Yahoo!

Craig Biggio led off the game with a base hit through the hole between short and third against Pirate starter Pat Maholm, who had a record of 0-2 and an ERA of 6.19 entering the game. That was the highlight of the night, and the only play I watched until I drove home from work and it was already the sixth inning a mere 45 minutes later. Scrambling to catch up on the missed action, I turned to the infamous Game Zone for an update. Read the rest of this entry »

Astros at Phillies, 4/23/07
Score: Phanatics 11, Astros 4
W: Eaton (2-1) L: Sampson (2-1)
Homeruns: A. Rodriguez 2 (14). According to ESPN, nothing else matters.
March to 3000: 2,946 (1×4, HR)
Read Alyson’s Substitute’s Report Here: Santoliquito
Or the AP recap here: Yahoo!

Credit to Santoliquito for the perfect summary:

Chris Sampson knew there would be nights like this, when his mechanics are slightly off, his out-pitch sinker isn’t sinking very well and everything is up in the strike zone, tantalizing out there to be swatted.

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By ‘strosrays

The Bucs Still Suck, and other rhymes

Astros (9-9) at Pirates (7-10)
PNC Park, 115 Federal St., Pittsburgh, PA  15212 
a/k/a “The Prettiest Little Ballpark in the Majors”

Tuesday, April 24, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, April 25, 6:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Thursday, April 26, 11:35 a.m. CDT – FSN

The Wednesday game will be carried by KNWS, which is to say it won’t be watchable for many of us outside a 5-mile radius of the KNWS tower, wherever it may be at the time.  Of course, since the Thursday game on FSN is slated to begin at 11:30 in the morning (getaway day), many of us who are gainfully employed and wish to remain so won’t be able to watch it either. . . besides which, an 11:30 a.m. start?  To quote I believe Jim Pagliaroni, from Ball Four, “11:30 a.m.?  I’m not even done puking at that hour.”  Finally, the rumor that the KNWS tower is actually a bent coat hanger attached to the broken-off arial on a Reflex blue© 1965 Chevy Impala big block, owned by some guy named ‘Chuy’ who lives in Porter – while compelling – is probably not actually true. Read the rest of this entry »