By Craig Elliott
Well it may not be enough to catch St. Louis in the long run, but sweeping the Jakes out of town with four pounds of sand in their vaginas sure was fun to watch. The Astros are now 3.5 games behind the Co-Ards and one game ahead of the dipshit Reds.
The Jakes will finish the season at home with three games against the West-leading Padres, then four against the mighty Brewers, who, really, are one of my favorite teams and I hope they finish the season on a positive note with a sweep of the Jakes.
The Astros will be in Philadelphia long enough to kick the Phillies’ ass and take a dump, and then it’s off to Pittsburgh for like the 30th time this season. And the Astros will end the regular season with a series against the Braves, who are missing the postseason for the first time in 15 years or something. But the Astros will be there to abuse the Braves in the final series of the season … so at least it will seem like the playoffs to them.
Philadelphia is still leading the wildcard race, and it’s pretty well down to the Phillies and the Dodgers, who are a half-game back. The Astros are next at five games out. Philadelphia is on a five-game winning streak and has won 10 of its last 12, including a sweep in Houston last weekend. Ryan Howard is up to 58 homers now.
When:
Monday, September 25, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – The game will be on the Fox Southwest feed.
Where: Citizens Bank Park
If the place is named for a bank, you’d think they’d know where to get financing for a fucking roof. Because I can think of one place right off the top of my head.
A win today will get the Astros to .500 again, which in the crappy NL Central is Within Official Striking Distance. Remember to pull for the Padres and Brewers according to your own special, twisted superstitions.
