What the hell? The Astros sign Andy Pettitte, the Coalition scoops up Saddam and the Dow takes up permanent residence above 10,000 (you heard it here first, folks). The Holidays have come early to the good folks of Astrodom, and there may yet be more…

But first things first: this week, I shall be mostly wearing Coco Chanel.

Team Bastard

Now back to the insults. The brothers Hendricks, those arrogant shysters who rubbed our noses in dog shit last time they were hawking a name arm in these parts, seemingly enjoyed a change of heart more pronounced and unlikely than that of James Caan in “Elf”. Suddenly, the Astros were not a stick with which to whack the Yacht Captain and McLane’s offer was not simply bum-fodder. With his home town beckoning and the warmest of welcomes from an owner who was not behaving like John Lithgow obsessing about an over-thruster, Pettitte took time out from his son’s recital to call Santa’s Little Helpers and tell them to make a deal with our ‘Stros. The deal was struck, and the Hendricks’ heart (they have one between them which they keep in a vault) grew three times that day. (more…)